JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum SLIPPERY NIPPLES (demo)

Hi guys,

if you liked our song when glyn posted it a while ago, now comes the time to forget about the bad worktapes. This was recorded yesterday at a buddy's house. Not a professional studio, but I think we did a quite decent job ;-)

Hope you'll enjoy your listen, and Merry Christmas y'all!

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10027882

SLIPPERY NIPPLES
Copyright 2010 glyn & Y. Causeret

Verse1
Bartender drinks on the house
Mix up your hard Slippery Nipples
Got those divorce papers from my spouse
Put the drinks on my tab, make mine a triple

Chorus
BARTENDER, SERVE UP THOSE SLIPPERY NIPPLES
I LIKE MY DRINK LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN
A LITTLE SWEET, PACKS A WICKED PUNCH
SO GRAB THAT SHOOTER GLASS
AND POUR IN THE BUTTERSCOTCH
SLOWLY – A LITTLE WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP
GOES DOWN SO SMOOTH
YEAH, I LOVE THOSE SLIPPERY NIPPLES

Verse 2
8 days a week drivin’ 18 wheelers
Hard days & nights to barely get by
No time for nothin’, beatin’ those sleep stealers
Too much road’s goin’ by, the black dog made me cry

Chorus

Verse 3
50 cents a mile, three weeks out of four
Tryin’ to pay those bills in the best way I know
Not enough for her, had my bags by the door
You can’t be cheerin’ home and make the money too

Chorus

Bridge
Tonight I don’t wanna drink alone
So pour up those damn Slippery Nipples
Won’t give the cream time to float to the bottom
Like the love in my life

Chorus

Tag
Bartender, believe I'll have TWO MORE

Hi Glynda,

your song turned out nice !
Yann, you sing well & the guitar sounds REAL GOOD TOO.
Thanks for the smooooooth entertainment.
MERRY CHRISTMAS to both of ya....not the nipples, you & Yann

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

I really like the feel of the music and the vocals are working very nicely. It's a cool song.

The title, "slippery nipples", moves the song more into the novelty camp. If that's what you want, then that's OK. I think it is good enough to maybe move away from that angle. Yea, there have been a few novelty hits here and there. For the most part, I think, it reduces it's potential broad based support.

Kevin

LOL! Wasn't quite sure what you meant by "cheerin' home". Must be a cultural thing?

Thanks again Yann, I love this even more, i'm so very happy that you liked the lyric well enough to want to do this demo...i'll always smile when I think of this song..and I love it...thanks again...glyn

Hi Calvin, glad you liked it, and I love what Yann did with it...thanks for listening...

glyn

Hey Kevin,

Yeah I guess it is kinda that kind of song, was having alot of fun writing it,, was so happy Yann did me the honor of a cowrite on it....really like it alot...

glyn

Holy cow. such a play! I love this stuff. Yann, I wanna work with you, it's all platinum man. jeez...I love that drink. Yummers.

Youall--

TIS A PARTY IN SONG--turning into a groovin' DRINKIN' TUNE--GREAT RHYTHM

GOOD LUCK--

Mackie

Really fun, and the production sounds right on. You might have a problem getting it on mainstream radio, however . . . but you probably already knew that. Good job.
Ott

LOL.... Cool song! That one will stick in my head tonight. Great job laying it down Yann and Glynda pretty nifty lyric!!!!
Mark

Tricia, i'll leave that one for Yann, i'm sure he can answer that better than me...thanks for listening to this for us...glyn

coalminer,

well thank you sir for liking out lil' song...glyn

Hi Mackie,

Well sir, I enjoy it when you pop in and check out my/our songs..thanks glyn

Ott,

Yeah this was just a fun song that we thought was cute...thanks for listening to it ...glyn

Hi Mark,

I'm happy it will stick in your head, does kinda grow on you and Yann really sings it so well....thanks glyn

It's Christmas, ya'll all go out and have some Slippery Nipples on the house....lol......glyn

Hey y'all!

Thanks for listening and posting!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, my friends!!!

Cheers,
Yann

Man, I love this song, burp...cuse me...

With all the positive feedback I've read, I hate to be the "bad guy"...

It's a cute bar song, but I doubt it would get airplay.

I was mostly bothered by the lack of rhyme in the Chorus (which almost always rhymes even if nothing else does...although butterscotch and top are near rhymes) and 2nd and 4th line in verse 3 don't rhyme but they do in the other verses; you could reverse the last line and say, "You can’t make the money and also be cheerin’ home"..that would near-rhyme home with know.

No rhyme at all in the bridge. I don't like excessive rhyme but minimal rhyme gets under my skin

HA Glynda & Yann,

I'll confess I was a bit hesitant to listen to this one -- since you KNOW I am such a delicate flower -- NOT!!

Seriously, this is a kick. Novelty-aspect aside, I think it's a lot of fun, and would be a great bar-song.

Also, I thought it was fun the way you snuck in a couple of Beatles' references (or is it just my loose imagination?):

[color:#FF0000]8 days a week drivin’ 18 wheelers
Hard days [color:#6600CC]& nights[/color] to barely get by[/color]

Regardless, congrats on this. Great way to finish the year ...

Merry Christmas and Joyeux Noel!!

xoxo,
Beth

Thanks Shayne for taking your time to listen, but actually this is just a fun song..not expecting it to get air time...just sharing one for the fun ..and sorry I got under your skin, can't always make everyone happy.....thanks glyn

Hey Beth, I knew you'd like this one and I sure hope your flower is still in bloom...lol

and really I didn't even notice those lines, was just thinking like at work, sometimes it feels like 8-9 day weeks...

and I love how Yann brought this song to life, I smile everytime I listen to it, and I love his voice....thanks again

glyn

This is a fun one for sure.
I liked the use of metaphor for the drink. Clever. Would work on a CD as an album cut and it could do well in the Juke Box.

But I was longing for more rhyme to make it flow a bit smoother in the chorus.

Rhyme in the bridge would make it a lot stronger. A weak bridge is not a good idea.
Reverse the last line of v3

Thanks Bill,


I'm really happy you like this song, it was fun writing it and even more listening what Yann did with it....love it myself...glyn

hey guys,

thanks a lot to everyone who listened or/and posted!

Like glyn said, this is a song for fun. Doesn't mean it should be botched up, of course. But the rules may be a little bent sometimes. Rhymes are mostly meant to make a story memorable, and I agree it's a bit more difficult to sing along when rhymes are lacking.
But just look at this song - which I think belongs to the same pub tradition. It works real good without a systematic work on the rhyme pattern (though the same sounds are used here and there). A bit loose, but ain't it what the story's about?

Feel free to disagree, though. Not we're unaware of what the publishers would say, LOL. Just have to try it in a pub and listen to what the customers will say. If they don't sing along and tell us it's because there aren't enough rhymes, I'll know I've just told a bunch of crap here, LOL!

Cheers (real ones)!
yann

Dirty Old Town ( The Pogues )

( Intro vers ) ( D )

G
I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I Kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

Clouds are drifting across the moon
Cats are prowling on their beat
Spring's a girl from the streets at night
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

( Solo vers ) ( C )

G
I Heard a siren from the docks
Saw a train set the night on fire
I Smelled the spring on the smoky wind
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

I'm gonna make me a big sharp axe
Shining steel tempered in the fire
I'll chop you down like an old dead tree
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

Yann,
It's due to conditioning for many years that rhymes in songs usually sound better than those that lack. The man/woman on the street may not write songs, but they can usually tell something doesn't sound right when they hear a song that breaks the traditional form.

The statistics speak for themselves. Few songs (in the large scope of recorded music) have been hits that do not rhyme.

But don't compare your songs to those on the radio unless you know which songs are written by outside writers (not the artist, staff writers, or associates). Outside writers' songs must actually be BETTER than those I mentioned in parentheses.

You have to give the publisher or artist a REASON to pick yours over what they already have.

Shayne,

I understand what you mean, and can't say you're wrong: songs are - always have been, probably always will be - written in rhymes for a very good reason (plus a few others, LOL)!

Just wanted to say in the previous posts that glyn's lyrics in THIS song were just right for me as is. Fun song, fun work, sharing it with a few friends, enjoying it. Rinse and repeat till it lasts. If you know glyn, you probably have noticed that she knows how to rhyme a song - and a bit more than that, LOL - when she puts her mind to it. She chose here not to overdo the trick in all the sections, well, doesn't bother me too much to say the truth

But of course we HAVE to rhyme when things get serious. It's a MUST. We just wanted to have a quick bit of fun here. And think we've succeeded. Not every song's written to be a hit. Not a shame either.

This post to explain things better. Never thought you were wrong in what you said. But maybe you thought we had in mind to break the Billboard with that particular song. We didn't. (Glyn? Did we?)

have a terrific day,
Yann

This is the coolest song.
Crazy lyrics, excellent musical arrangement and vocals.

What else can you ask for.
You have to do this one live, in a pub and I guarantee the people will love it.
It reminds me of Chuck Berry's "My Ding a ling".

At the very least , it's a great way to bring attention to the rest of your catalog.
I never had a song on the charts so I can't tell you what publishers want but I can tell that people want to be entertained and this song is very entertaining.

Wonderful work U 2

Nelson

Ok, you got me started on this,

The 3 verse you are referring to, the 1st and 3 lines rhyme, as all the other verses do....so that is my rhyming there


in the chourus, I only went for the Punch line with the (CH) ending that goes along with Butterscotch which ends with (CH) and has that sound alike ending....

sorry if my words get under your skin

and thanks Yann for all your sweet comments

this song was written mainly just for fun, I never thought it would get much feedback it's not a song I would have pitched, due to the subject matter, in mind it was only a song for fun..

but looking back I do see and hear it rhyming where it needs too, the only part that has NO rhyme at all is the bridge...but I still love this song, and I too feel others will love to hear it......thanks glyn

Nelson,

Thanks for taking your time to check this out...I too think others will like it, it is entertaining, more than I thought it would be when I wrote it, and Yann did magic on it and it sounds great to me...thanks glyn

Ok it is now New Years , so I giving Slippery Nipples on the house....lol..

glyn